Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

The Husband-to-Be Survey

Monday, June 6th, 2011

The husband to be survey!

I found this on someone’s blog I stumbled upon by chance, and well I love surveys haha so here we go (please copy and redo this into your own blog, and link back to mine so I can read yours!):

How long have you been together: 8 years on the 12 Oct 2011

How old is he? He turned 31 at the beginning of this year

Who said I love you first? Probably me…though I’m not sure…perhaps it was him?

Who eats more? Me. No contest! I can polish off pasta and sushi like there is no tomorrow! He eats like a bird!

Who is taller? Definately him, by a head! I love that he can put his chin on my head hehe

Whose temper is worse? Uhhh, me! I like to shout and stomp, he likes to avoid.

Who does the laundry? Both of us, but if I’m really honest, its 60-40 in his favour.

Who sings better? Me! He doesnt like his singing, but when he does its such a rare occasion I always quieten up to listen. He usually sings when he thinks no one is listening.

Who is smarter? I’d say he’s smarter, but I’m more savvy.

Who does the dishes? The dishwasher. Lol, its 50-50 as one unpacks and the over packs the dishwasher.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? If you’re looking at the bed, then me. If you’re lying on the bed, then him haha.

Who pays the bills? Mostly him, but I do my part equally where possible.

Who mows the lawn? My mom haha! She mows her lawn beautifully, and the guys who mow our lawn (we’re in an apartment block) mow it down to the roots, which is so hard to get growing, so they’ve been instructed to leave it alone now!

Who cooks dinner? This one is 60-40 in my favour haha but out of who buys dinner when we eat out, its him all the way.

Who drives when you are together? Depends on who’s car we’re in. My car, I drive. His car, he drives. We take his comfy bmw most often though ;)

Who is more stubborn? Hmm….hard to say. In most aspects, its me…but then in other aspects, its him. Nope, I think its 50-50 here.

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Me…cos I hate fighting. But he’s not one to not admit when he’s wrong, if that makes sense.

Whose parents do you see the most? Definately mine. His are in another city.

Who has more friends? Probably me, but they’ve become our friends. He’s rather introverted and prefers online gaming and close friends, rather than myself who has a few close friends, but I love chatting and making new ones.

Who has more siblings? We’re even, as far as I know. We both have an older sister.

Was it love at first sight? No! Haha. I actually have to admit I had a boyfriend when I met him, so I wasnt looking for a new relationship, and when he met me, his friend was the one who was into me, though I cant fathom why, as I was working at Spur in a spur t-shirt, looking all exhausted as usual by that time of the night.

NaNo Spam?

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

I thought this was kind of funny. I received it in my blog spam filter haha for once one of these spams actually made sense…and its pretty decent too!

What next!

Submitted on 2009/12/01 at 3:54pm
He groped like a blind man until he realized it was futile. Somehow he had to get light into the shed, He went back to the door and cracked it open four inches. That gave enough light. But there was no way to keep the door open. Quickly he kicked off his shoe and stuck it in the door.
——————————————
cialis 20 mg 60pills

Girls Night: The Aftermath

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Wow. Thats all I can say. What a truly memorable night! Kickass, raucous, wild fun! Ahh the memories!

Let me try explain how it all went down…

The night started at my best friend’s (V) restaurant. She was waitressing and I arrived just after 9pm, after having dinner with the bf at a friend’s house, to wait for her to finish. While she worked, I sat at the bar chatting with the bartender (J) whilst enjoying a SoCo & Lime. There was live music played by a guy from Paraguay, who at the end of the night felt my ass before he left! Cheeky! Apparently he’s into V though hehe. So I danced, had another SoCo&Lime, and eventually the restaurant quietened down and then eventually it was closing time. Myself, V, and another girl (Ju) hung around at the bar drinking with 5 other guys (N, R, A, D and J) who work there. V started the night in style with a quadruple vodka & lime haha! Jokes were being made by the guys of our girls night meekly consisting of Skittles and rats at V’s place, until word got out that I had three vibrators, a set of benwa balls, lingerie and anal beads in the boot of my car (long story, was a gift from someone and I brought it with to show V)! Of course, many questions ensued but V and I kept everyone guessing. The anal beads were the topic of conversation at various points in the night, and even still the next morning!

So, it was organised that J was to be our designated driver (so us girls could drink and not worry about being arrested for DUI), and that he would stay the night with us (he doesnt have a car anymore). Of course, since one guy was allowed to come with, all the guys wanted to. So we all moved off to play pool at Poole Lounge (they have cocktails – wanted to complete another one of my 101 in 1001’s, alas, no cocktails and more guys than girls…so it doesnt really count), but when we got there, they were calling last round and closing up. So the guys and Ju had a game of pool, while V and I lay on the couch chatting. Then when PLounge closed we moved off to Stones.

Stones was rather empty, which was fine by us, so I bought a round of drinks, and paid the deposit for the white ball and chalk. This brought on the longest game of pool in V and my history! While I was wracking up, two random guys came up and challenged us to a game. We awkwardly agreed and carried on our “practise round”. The one guy looked SO much like Gérard Depardieu from My Father the Hero! Every five min, one of the Creepy Guys came up to loom over our pool table. Of course, V and I were very put off our game by this, and had to keep assuring them it was still our “practise round” and that we “didnt know why” it was taking so long. Eventually, they recalled their challenge and kind of left us alone. V won (I forgot she used to have a pool table lol) and we joined the guys for hubbly that R produced out of nowhere. Unluckily, the hubbly wasnt drawing properly, so we ended up dancing on the stripper poles they have on their dance floor haha. This was great fun, and the guys had a great time watching 3 girls fumble around on a pole together haha. V did an awesome running-leaping-and-spinning move which resulted in a bruised knee! Haha it was awesome! Then last rounds were called so we down our drinks and left.

Having nowhere to go, since it was around 3am (I think…), we followed the guys back to the restaurant for some booze on our way to Ju’s and V and I needed to pee so badly! We were waiting around for the manager, R, to arrive and V seriously considered peeing outside Cash Convertors! Luckily R arrived and we dashed inside to pee like civilised people! When we arrived at Ju’s, we played some music, smoked some hubbly (haha V saw R walking around with the hubbly, and thought he’d stolen it from Stones, but turns out, it was his own one which he brought to Stones). It apparently was spiked, which I found out after I smoked it, which made perfect sense since I couldnt stop laughing at everything. Though that could have been the booze and good company too, who knows. So we hung around Ju’s place, laying on her spare bed and couch, and V and I played around passing ice from one another and eating chocolate from the same piece which the guys found amusing. They’re so easy to entertain *rolls eyes* lol.

Tramp stamps (aka hickeys) were done on various people, I got one on my shoulder, and in amongst all the raucousness some accidental nipple licking took place. I cant say more on that topic, on request of the recipient haha.

Eventually Ju kicked us out at 6am, so we all departed to our places of rest…we knew J was staying the night with us since he was our driver, but somehow N landed up coming with as well haha. So we got back to V’s, got changed into our pjs, and hung around in V’s spare bedroom since we couldnt figure out who would sleep where, so we just all sommer slept together. The guys were perfect gentlemen and even with a LOT of playful teasing, they behaved (of course they kicked themselves the next morning haha damn morals)! We went to sleep at 8 only to wake up at 9 to take the guys back to work. Was weird waking up to someone’s tattoos staring at me haha

After we dropped them off, we went home to make flapjacks and as a thank you, brought some flapjacks back to the restaurant for the guys. While we were there, one of the regulars bought us some SoCo & Lime and we sat til around 3 rehashing the night’s events…ahhh good times!!

Top search queries

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Yes. What an uninspiring title. My apologies haha.

I decided to find out just what people Google to find my blog, and this is what came up (they all seem fairly accurate):

# – % Query Position
1 – 27% – oc lan – 3
2 – 7% – card making – 9
3 – 5% – ratanooga – 7
4 – 5% – maritial status – 9
5 – 4% – national cleavage day – 6
6 – 4% – rocky horror picture show barnyard – 8
7 – 4% – rocky horror picture show – 10
8 – 3% – restaurant city level up bonuses – 7
9 – 3% – card making supplies – 9
10 – 3% – new camara – 12
11 – 2% – plastic muffin tray – 1
12 – 2% – restaurant city outside decoration – 3
13 – 2% – cleavage day 2009 – 5
14 – 2% – rain meter homemade – 5
15 – 2% – brian boswell wilkie circus – 6
16 – 2% – the o.c lan – 6
17 – 2% – the oc lan – 6
18 – 2% – homemade soup – 8
19 – 2% – cardmaking – 9
20 – 2% – gynecologist in springs – 9
21 – 2% – restaurant city level up bonus – 9
22 – 2% – 1001 hotties of a day – 10
23 – 2% – unisa wedding expo – 11
24 – 2% – tails – 12

Yeeeeeah….queries like ‘the oc lan’, ‘card making’, ‘ratanooga’, and ‘tails’ I can understand….but gynecologist in springs???? Really??!? Rain meter homemade?? 1001 hotties of a day?? How random!

An explanation of the columns:
• #: The ranking of the search query.
• %: The percentage of the top 100 queries represented by each query. For example, if the top 100 queries represent 1,000 user searches, and those users searched for cheeseburger recipe 270 times, that query would represent 27% of the total number of searches for the top 100 queries.
• Query: The search terms used.
• Position: The highest position any page from your site ranked for that query, averaged over the last week. Since our index is dynamic, this may not be the same as the current position of your site for this query.

Absa vs Standard Bank

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Today I went into the bank to deposit a cheque for my dad. He has a bunch of deposit slips at the office, so he filled it in and I went to deposit it (whereas normally I fill it in as well).

I got to the bank, dashed in to the entrance cubical with another two people, and managed to get to the counter first. Awesome! I hand in my deposit slip and the cheque, and am met by a blank look from the teller.

“Um,” he says, holding up the slip for me to see.
I looked carefully to see if my dad hadn’t signed it, or did he leave out the date or something? I saw anything amiss and return his blank look.
All he says (with a smile) is, “Absa.”
The lightbulb above my head turns on: “Oh duh!” is my response, slapping my palm to my forehead.
It dawns on me I’m standing at a teller in Standard Bank.

Blind!!

Needless to say, I laughed and mumbled something about it being early morning still, and hurried across to Absa bank. Unfortunately, there was a long queue.

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