Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Top search queries

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Yes. What an uninspiring title. My apologies haha.

I decided to find out just what people Google to find my blog, and this is what came up (they all seem fairly accurate):

# – % Query Position
1 – 27% – oc lan – 3
2 – 7% – card making – 9
3 – 5% – ratanooga – 7
4 – 5% – maritial status – 9
5 – 4% – national cleavage day – 6
6 – 4% – rocky horror picture show barnyard – 8
7 – 4% – rocky horror picture show – 10
8 – 3% – restaurant city level up bonuses – 7
9 – 3% – card making supplies – 9
10 – 3% – new camara – 12
11 – 2% – plastic muffin tray – 1
12 – 2% – restaurant city outside decoration – 3
13 – 2% – cleavage day 2009 – 5
14 – 2% – rain meter homemade – 5
15 – 2% – brian boswell wilkie circus – 6
16 – 2% – the o.c lan – 6
17 – 2% – the oc lan – 6
18 – 2% – homemade soup – 8
19 – 2% – cardmaking – 9
20 – 2% – gynecologist in springs – 9
21 – 2% – restaurant city level up bonus – 9
22 – 2% – 1001 hotties of a day – 10
23 – 2% – unisa wedding expo – 11
24 – 2% – tails – 12

Yeeeeeah….queries like ‘the oc lan’, ‘card making’, ‘ratanooga’, and ‘tails’ I can understand….but gynecologist in springs???? Really??!? Rain meter homemade?? 1001 hotties of a day?? How random!

An explanation of the columns:
• #: The ranking of the search query.
• %: The percentage of the top 100 queries represented by each query. For example, if the top 100 queries represent 1,000 user searches, and those users searched for cheeseburger recipe 270 times, that query would represent 27% of the total number of searches for the top 100 queries.
• Query: The search terms used.
• Position: The highest position any page from your site ranked for that query, averaged over the last week. Since our index is dynamic, this may not be the same as the current position of your site for this query.

Absa vs Standard Bank

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Today I went into the bank to deposit a cheque for my dad. He has a bunch of deposit slips at the office, so he filled it in and I went to deposit it (whereas normally I fill it in as well).

I got to the bank, dashed in to the entrance cubical with another two people, and managed to get to the counter first. Awesome! I hand in my deposit slip and the cheque, and am met by a blank look from the teller.

“Um,” he says, holding up the slip for me to see.
I looked carefully to see if my dad hadn’t signed it, or did he leave out the date or something? I saw anything amiss and return his blank look.
All he says (with a smile) is, “Absa.”
The lightbulb above my head turns on: “Oh duh!” is my response, slapping my palm to my forehead.
It dawns on me I’m standing at a teller in Standard Bank.

Blind!!

Needless to say, I laughed and mumbled something about it being early morning still, and hurried across to Absa bank. Unfortunately, there was a long queue.

(A funny) One for the IT peeps

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Hard Drive weight increasing?

Apologies if this is the incorrect area for this question.

I’ve noticed that as I copy data/install programs on my Laptop, the weight of the Laptop increases. I have a bad back and am medically limited on the amount of weight I can carry so I need to be very carefull not to inflict injury upon myself.

I have also noticed my XBox feels heavier as well (the more games I save or purchase from arcade). I generally don’t travel with my XBox so that is not an issue for me, but note the I am having the same results.

My ask, what is the weight/file ratio? So for example, how many GB’s = 6oz? I dread the day I need a dolly to commute to work with my Laptop.

Thanks in advance!
- K

O_o!!!

Is this guy for real?? Honestly one of the best laughs I’ve had in a while, esp after reading responses like

If you have very large files, you can compress them and then compress the compressed file etc. until the files are down to 1 byte. That should make you laptop lighter than when you bought it! I use this trick all the time so that I can save my entire music collection on a 5-1/4″ floppy (yeah, I found a use for them :)

Every Gigabyte counts as 5oz of extra weight for your computer.There has been cases (in computers with 1Tb of Hard drive and more) of people left eMule activated 3 days and when that people returned to the computer,there was a hole in the floor instead.

Dreading the day you Dolly your laptop???? Are you kidding me….. what does your laptop weigh 6 lbs. at the most?
That about half the weight of your McDonalds bag…
You better be carrying an Alienware laptop and not a netbook.
If you cannot carry your laptop thats the least of your worries, I’d be more concerned with how your dealing with yourself daily
You do know that your installing programs in a virtual perspective

Hehehe hope it made you smile (and possibly laugh)…I know I chuckled at this poor fellow’s expense for a while hehe

Also, my camera should be with me by the end of this week hopefully if all goes well!! I’m UBER excited!! *bounce bounce*

“Smooth”

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Saw this on a few other blogs and thought I’d give it a try (I have some weird crap on my music list which should make for some interesting results). I’d love to see other people’s answers, so if I’ve tagged you, dont break the chain!

:: Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
:: For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
:: You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
:: Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

If Someone Says “Is This Okay” You Say?

When I’m Gone (3 Doors Down)

What Would Best Describe Your Personality?

Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)

What Do You Like In A Guy/Girl?

Ticket to Ride (The Beatles) – haha!

What Is Your Life’s Purpose?

I’m a Believer (Smashmouth) – haha!

What Is Your Motto?

Cocaine – JJ Cale – *snigger*

What Do Your Friends Think Of You?

Losing Grip – Avril Lavigne – bwaahaha gonna have to relisten to that song now

What Do You Think About Often?

Staying Alive (Beejees) – bwahahaha too true!

What Is 2+2?

I Was Hoping (Alanis Morrisette) – spelt the correct way ;)

What Do You Think Of Your Best Friends?

War – System of a Down – eep! Sorry guys!

What Is Your Life Story?

Evenstar (Howard Shore) – this is a track from Lord of the Rings, yay! Its a nice song!

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Butterflies (Michael Jackson and Eve)

What Do You Think When You See The Person You Like?

Ordinary Day (Vanessa Carlton) – aww

What Do Your Parents Think Of You?

Macy’s Day Parade (Greenday)

What Will You Dance To At Your Wedding?

Fields of Innocence (Evanescence) – will keep this in mind :P

What Will They Play At Your Funeral?

Firestarter (Cartman, South Park) – hahahahahahaaha!!!

What Is Your Hobby/Interest?

It Is Love (Dana Glover) – this ones from the Shrek OST

What Is Your Biggest Secret?

Blood, Sex and Booze (Greenday) – BWAHAHAHAHA um, true? ;P

What Do You Think Of Your Friends?

The Look (Roxette)

What’s The Worst Thing That Could Happen?

Have Your Way (Tree63) – yea I hate it when other people have their way ;)

How Will You Die?

Cello (Parish & Toppano) – wow, very apt. very.

What Is The One Thing You Regret?

Island in the Stream (Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton) – aw I like this song? :(

What Makes You Laugh?

If You’re Getting Down (5ive) – haha!

What Makes You Cry?

Hippy (Atomic Kitten)

Will You Ever Get Married?

Dr Jones (Aqua) – I’m going to marry my sister’s bf??? (he’s a Jones)

What Scares You The Most?

Colourblind (Counting Crows) – yea I guess this could be true…

Does Anyone Like You?

For the Benefit of Mr Kite (Billy Connelly)

If You Could Go Back In Time, What Would You Change?

Bad Moon Rising (Creedance Clearwater Revival) – hmm ok :)

What Hurts Right Now?

Nitro (The Offspring)

What Will You Title This Post?

Smooth (Santana)

Tag! You’re it!:

:: QuitePhrankly
:: Christy’s Ramblings
:: The Broke-Ass Bride
:: From the Silicon to the Tanana Valley
:: Pixie Dusties

LOLcat….I mean LOLmice

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Nothing more to say about this other than it had me rolling around on the floor laughing…almost literally! I do hope none of the mice were hurt in the wheel though…

The responsible rodent-owner in me is urging me to mention that it’s too easy for rats/mice tails/feet/hands to get caught between the bars and lopped off :( Proof of why a Wodent Wheel type wheel is much better and much safer for your long tailed rodent pet.

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    Thursday's event: seeing the #cakeboss, Buddy, live at #thegoodfoodandwineshow :D VIP tickets get you entrance, complimentary snacks and drinks in VIP lounge before the event, VIP seating at show, and a signed copy of his book at the Meet & Greet! Woot!

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    Day 21: Where you stand #photoadaymay #whereyoustand The view from where I am right now! #sushi makes everything better, esp Eat All You Like!

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