While the overall rate of divorce in the US is falling, the current divorce rate is 2.3 persons per 1,000 Americans. This makes the US the third-highest in the world for divorces.
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is a lack of communication and understanding. Instead, couples often don’t communicate properly with their partner. This breaks their emotional connection. However, understanding the five love languages and applying them to your relationship can go a long way to repairing them.
So if your relationship has been rocky lately, and you want to know more about your love language, keep reading. We’re explaining everything you need to know.
What Are the Five Love Languages?
We think and act in unique ways, meaning we express our love in different forms. Author and counselor Gary Chapman created the five love languages. You can find the complete explanation in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” This book was published in 1992.
The book and concept focus on five different methods people can express their love for someone: gift-giving, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. Let’s review each in more detail.
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are a love language for those who like to express their love through spoken words, appreciation, or praise. For example, someone who expresses themselves through words of affirmation may show their affection by leaving love notes for their partner or reaffirm their love by saying, “I love you.”
Conversely, someone who prefers this love language may find unkind words affect them more than they would another person. This is because words are such a significant part of their love communication that they’re overly sensitive to criticism.
Someone whose love is expressed through quality time finds the most significant enjoyment in the presence of their loved one. They appreciate their undivided attention.
However, quality time means more than just time spent together but also the quality of the time. For example, actively listening, being present, and making eye contact are all things that would mean the most to someone who values quality time. A partner who was on their phone all the time would neglect their partner’s love language.
Physical touch, regarding the five love languages, doesn’t necessarily include sexual intimacy. Instead, acts like hugs, holding hands, and other forms of physical affection mean the most to someone who values physical touch in their relationship.
If your partner reaches out for contact, you may find that their love language is physical touch, and reciprocating can be a valuable communication tool.
Acts of Service
Another of the five love languages is acts of service. Partners who value acts of service will often demonstrate their love by offering their loved ones help. When one expresses their love language this way, one partner often goes beyond their usual responsibilities to assist their struggling partner.
If you or your partner relate to acts of service, things like broken commitments and perceived laziness can add resentment to the relationship. However, appreciating when your partner does something for you can go a long way to keeping communication lines open and healthy.
Finally, the final of the five love languages is receiving gifts. You may think, “everyone loves receiving gifts,” and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong. However, someone who values gifting as their love language finds the most appreciation in their relationship when their partner gives them things.
This doesn’t have to mean material possessions, but even something as simple as surprising someone when they least expect it. Gifting someone with this love language can go a long way to making a significant and memorable impact.
Finding Your Love Language
By now, if it’s not already apparent to you, you may be wondering which of the five love languages is most important to you. There are several ways you can go about finding out. For example:
- Buying and reading the book
- Taking an online quiz
Both of these methods will lead you to understand your love language. Once you’re aware, you can see how it can apply to your relationship.
Applying the Five Love Languages to Your Relationship
Having a love language is not enough in a relationship. You have to apply the practices to yours to see results. For example, if your love language is receiving gifts, this doesn’t mean your partner must shower you with material things.
Instead, your love language – when applied correctly – can enhance your relationship by creating more meaningful actions. Once you’re aware of what your partner appreciates the most, you can intentionally go out of your way to show you care by using their love language.
You also create a more profound sense of self-awareness. This can occur while you learn about your partner’s love language by giving you insight into yours. Knowing what matters to your partner means you can always be working to improve the relationship.
Subscribing to the five love languages can also promote empathy within your relationship. When you focus on understanding your partner on a deeper level, you learn empathy as you learn more about their perspective.
Of course, with all these positive ways the five love languages can have on your relationship, one of the most rewarding benefits is you gain a stronger relationship with your partner. The more you learn about one another, the closer your bond will become naturally. In addition, couples with strong relationships have higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.
What is Your Love Language?
Understanding the five love languages means you can find ways to use them to improve your relationship with your partner. By understanding what they prioritize, you can create more meaningful interactions with one another. Once you know what your partner’s love language is, you spend less time wasting time on actions that they won’t appreciate as much.
If you’re in a relationship and looking for advice on strengthening and improving it, visit our site for more guidance on love.